tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post2444994752025394892..comments2023-11-05T00:24:38.056-07:00Comments on Debbie K Being True to my heART: In Loving MemoryDebbie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16451022822272160128noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-21216110050026228142010-04-05T04:02:33.912-07:002010-04-05T04:02:33.912-07:00Dear Anji, Jo, Karen Callie, Lisa and the friend w...Dear Anji, Jo, Karen Callie, Lisa and the friend whose name I am afraid I cannot translate, thank you so much for your kind thoughts.<br /><br />Dear Lucy<br />The day was thankfully very dignified.<br /><br />Dear Jo<br />I really appreciated your very thoughtful comment. My cousins son incredible spirit and attitude to life caused me to re evaluate so many aspects of my life. I could only ever attend this day appearing as "me". I owed that to myself and to his memory.Debbie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16451022822272160128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-5268815039276240122010-04-02T08:24:29.064-07:002010-04-02T08:24:29.064-07:00Sorry I am a bit late reading this. I have just go...Sorry I am a bit late reading this. I have just got back from a trip.<br />I just wanted to send you some love at a difficult time.<br />xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-16124315210856988752010-03-30T16:46:18.339-07:002010-03-30T16:46:18.339-07:00I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Like you, ...I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Like you, my family generally only sees each other at funerals. Sad, isn't it?<br /><br />I do hope your Mum and Dad will be OK, Debbie. <br /><br />Take care.<br /><br />Calie xxxCaliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00280127011882954777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-67321564285794046772010-03-29T01:53:53.111-07:002010-03-29T01:53:53.111-07:00I hope your family and yourself get through today ...I hope your family and yourself get through today ok.<br />Thinking of you <br />Hugs<br />Karen xTawny Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12908715809080046167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-44838111775828734452010-03-29T01:52:56.807-07:002010-03-29T01:52:56.807-07:00Debbie darling - a hard hard time for you...sendin...Debbie darling - a hard hard time for you...sending you strength and hugs. I guess you won't read this now till the funeral is done...<br /><br />Things like funerals are very very tough at the best of times (does that phrase even have any meaning when applied to funerals?), but when you knew and loved the person who died, <i>and</i> when the coming together of the family reopens unresolved pains as you have described re your Auntie, then it must be so much worse.<br /><br />I think the instinctive thing to say is that you owe it yourself to be there as you. But that completely ignores the situation, your desire to be compassionate (which you are, very), and the fact that the funeral must be about your cousin's son's life, and not confused by any other issues. (I faced a miniature version of this at my Mum's funeral...I had split from my ex three days previously (though my children didn't know), I was in a terrible state, I knew I was going to transition - but the day - obviously - had to be about the memory of my Mum).<br /><br />I'm not sure what I would do really...but I can see why you are doing as you are (did?) , and I send you big hugs for that. You <i>are</i> 'you' of course - the clothes you are wearing have absolutely nothing to do with it at its heart.<br /><br />I hope the funeral was bearable, that you got through, and that some love and healing happened.<br /><br />Re your Mum, darling, once again, I read you implying that you are somehow reponsible for your Mum's ill health. <b>You're not </b>. Your Mum and Dad are elderly and frail...surely the fact of their age is the primary issue really? What you have given your Mum and Dad is tons of love and care - <i>way way</i> beyond what many daughters would do.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17356965133404249244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-45425473778398742592010-03-28T23:06:35.448-07:002010-03-28T23:06:35.448-07:00I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I...I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I'll be thinking of you today.<br /><br />It was nice to read that you've started your voluntary work again!Anjihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02562210585479814093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-25208932447173069612010-03-28T14:07:33.258-07:002010-03-28T14:07:33.258-07:00Thank you for your very poigniant kind words Lucy....Thank you for your very poigniant kind words Lucy.<br />Debbie xDebbie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16451022822272160128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-88990958069305821372010-03-28T14:04:26.721-07:002010-03-28T14:04:26.721-07:00Thank you for your kind words Nicky
You are right...Thank you for your kind words Nicky<br /><br />You are right but sometimes we have to compromise.<br />For too long I did not put myself first and it felt like I had sacrificed my life for my loved ones but some things we should not sacrifice and that is where this all gets very distressing and unsettling.<br />Debbie xxDebbie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16451022822272160128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-44740519420246392722010-03-28T13:57:41.197-07:002010-03-28T13:57:41.197-07:00May it go with dignity and with all the focus on t...May it go with dignity and with all the focus on that poor young man. Funerals CAN be occasions that bring members of a family together. I hope that is the lasting outcome for this one. <br /><br />A pity that you have to go slightly in disguise, Debbie, but it's easy to see why. If my Mum and Dad were still around, and wanted to attend a funeral, I'd need to go with them, and then I'd be in the same position.<br /><br />LucyLucy Melfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09049627653901928427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030198095309456370.post-81779525634249152692010-03-28T13:48:08.861-07:002010-03-28T13:48:08.861-07:00A hard time for you all Debbie.
But, as it pains m...A hard time for you all Debbie.<br />But, as it pains me to say, you *must* put yourself first.<br />Sending you some strength & hugs xxxthe CFGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12242117031487746611noreply@blogger.com