Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Keep on Climbing in 2010

For those of you facing challenges in the coming year may you keep on climbing the path that's right for you and may it lead to happiness.

Please if you can remember to enjoy the view as you go. There will come a time when you can break free from the dark clouds that sometimes gather and once more begin to appreciate the simple pleasures in life which are so important and are so often free but absolutely priceless.

From my humble experience I have found you have strength inside you, more you than you can perhaps ever imagine to achieve your hopes, your dreams, your goals.

You have so often lifted me onto your shoulders and supported me, just like the Ocelot cub in my painting with its Mum. I have been in a tranquil special place, my Christmas came early for me. Thanks to the love and understanding you have all shown to me, I have come into the light. The eloquent Lori D recent excellent posting mentions a pink cloud, the euphoric spiritual life affirming experience I have felt since my surgery.

Sadly in reality, life away from my misty pink clouds, the world can be a cruel place. So often endangered animals like the beautiful Ocelot in my painting are killed out of ignorance and selfish cruel needless stupidity. In their case for their skins so that ugly women can wear them, the Ocelots natural habitat destroyed by mankind. The painting reminds me of the wise words I heard at a talk given by one of my friends on "The Ark" Botswana's wildlife.

In the end, we conserve only what we love.
We only love what we understand.
We understand only what we are taught.

I have not had much time to access a computer in the last few months and have only fleetingly been able to catch up with our friends blogs. I was in hospital while many of my dear friends attended the transgendered day of remembrance http:/// I recently caught up with Jo's blog and her very moving post about the tragic death of Andrea Waddell. She courageously found herself only to have her life so sadly taken. She was dearly loved and will be sadly missed. She had done all she could to live her dreams, to live a "respectable life", but out of ignorance society denied her the chance to live that life. God rest her soul.

Reading Andrea's story and the plight of the loved ones she left behind, moved me to tears and bought me down from my pink misty clouds with a bump. My thoughts turned to all of those who have tragically lost their lives in 2009 particularly those who have faced prejudice and ignorance while trying their best to do what they believed in, the innocent victims from all walks of life. Not just the transgendered , people such as the brave men and women solders who have sacrificed their lives so that we may be free and also the innocent civilians caught up in those conflicts.

Remembering these dear souls taught me a lot and reminded me how fortunate I am, how precious life is and how vulnerable we all are. How I wish we could all live together peacefully acknowledging and rejoicing in our differences, living in harmony, with love and understanding.

At this time of the year we all have our hopes and dreams for the year ahead.

Our journey through life, our climb may face many challenges in the future.

May your vision be clear & there be no limit to how far your heart can see in 2010.

Peace and Love

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Peace be with you

May Peace, joy and happiness be yours this Christmas.

With Angels (like you) for friends we are never alone.

Time after time you have reached out your hands to support us in our hours of need and touched our hearts.

May all your dreams come true in 2010.

God Bless you all

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Thank you

Thank you so much for your kindness, your support, your friendship and your love.

The peace and happiness I have been blessed with since my gender affirmation surgery is beyond my humble vocabulary and so much more than I ever dreamed possible. I am not a deeply religious person but I have found this an incredibly spiritual experience.

It feels like I have been in hibernation for a while now. Its time to take a look outside. I have been thinking of you all, wondering how you were all doing, out there in the big wide world.

I have been overwhelmed by your compassionate and thoughtful postings on my blog while I have been away. The visits I have received, the phone calls, texts and emails. You have all melted my heart and lifted my spirits. That so many of you took this trouble when you have so many worries in your own lives, is something that I will always remember and be grateful for.

Please accept my apologies for not posting a response earlier, it has been really difficult for me to get to my home and access a computer and will remain this way for a little while yet as I continue to convalesce at my parents.

Special thanks to Nicky for updating my blog. My dear friend I hope your visit to the "Smile factory" in Brighton early next year, brings you everything you wish for.

I am thrilled with my surgery. I am still smiling. The staff at the hospital were absolutely brilliant. I have not been in any prolonged pain just a bit uncomfortable. Fatigue has been my biggest challenge. I lost quite a bit of blood in hospital (bleeding from my urethra) but I have been reassured my levels were ok when I left hospital and that I am not likely to feel anything like my normal energy levels for a minimum of 8 weeks. Dilating three times a day is going well but beginning to feel very time consuming. I have recently developed a puberty like complexion which has required a course of antibiotics and the wearing of a paper bag on my head if I venture outside in case I frighten anyone. Lol!

It’s difficult for my Mum, Dad & I to find the right balance of care for each other as there is a tendency to want to do too much. Friends have been so kind to offer help to us but Dad bless him has wanted to look after me so much he overdid things. I pleaded with him to accept the kind help on offer He has been out in all weathers and at one point last week I found him slumped in a chair feeling dizzy and we had to call a doctor out. We were all very worried but thankfully after some rest he seems to have recovered. I promptly made the same mistake of doing too much too soon and abandoned my convalescing until my body said NO. We are now all taking things more steady, one day at a time. Life is good. Christmas has come early for me.

How I wish I could bottle up the peace and happiness I feel and send it to you all as gift for Christmas.

Thanks for everything.

Lots of love