Reaching out

I used to get very concerned when friends who were going through really difficult times stopped blogging for any length of time. This post is prompted by that anxiety & the realisation that my so infrequent posting may be causing worry to those of you who have so kindly visited my blog.

I am ok. I hope you are too? I feel as though I am running on empty at times just now but I have managed to keep going & have so much to be grateful for. Demands on my time prevent me gaining access to a computer for personal stuff but it does not stop me thinking about the lives of my friends. So often on line friends have been such an important life line & have made such a difference to my life when I needed help the most. Just now I also find it hard to sit at my home computer for any length of time because emotionally it can trigger some painful memories at a time I recognise I am vulnerable to depression. I even struggle to be able to check my emails, please forgive me. I even forgot to add a post to celebrate the second anniversary of my gender affirmation surgery (happy photo of the day, above) which dear Lucy reminded me about.

The course of six b12 injections I have been given are yet to show any positive effect. In fact after the first one I actually ended up in the accident and emergency department of the hospital I work in, such was the in balance in my blood cells at the time. I just need to give it more time be patient. The very good news is that I have not had any more attacks on my leg muscles since having the jabs. I can walk & even managed a very short run while out with our doggy recently. This week I have started taking some folic acid tablets as my doctors blood tests showed I was also quite deficient in that too.

My parents remain my priority. They have their good & bad days. Mums been poorly with suspected Diverticulitis & Dad became a bit breathless on our morning walk recently. I count our blessings every day we have together. The simple pleasures in life & taking one day at a time are our family mantra.

At work we are so short staffed. We all try to keep going but we seem to have a lot off work with family worries & health problems. Often we work through lunch, every task urgent. The world seems such a stressful place & this is a familiar story for so many. All our jobs are still at risk but the deadline when they will tell us if we still have a job has been shifted to February. We are lucky we still have a job. That said, there are more important things in life, than your work, without your health you have nothing.

Life is so precious & even on the greyest days can be so rewarding, so humbling.

During a day helping in the children's cancer ward I was so privileged to meet a young lady going through major cancer treatment. She appeared quite physically weak yet spiritually so incredibly strong.

She had been asked by her headmaster to write a speech about something she was passionate about. Then she was asked to read it out to an audience of all her school class mates. Her passion was dancing. She loved to dance, it meant so much to her but her aching body was preventing her partaking in something she cared so much about. She was so brave facing her problems. Her frame so frail; her beautiful head devoid of hair, its crowning glory & so important a part of any young woman's appearance. None of this phased her.

She told us she was a little concerned about public speaking, expressing her innermost feelings, even to an audience of friends. She has shown such courage we all knew she would be able to face that challenge. Her speech proved to be a stunning success. Her grasp of reality so true. Her words carried such meaning & should be an inspiration to so many.

She was encouraged to practice by reading her speech out to a small group of us in the hospital class room. There was not a dry eye left in the room. She spoke so eloquently. Her thoughts ranged from the prejudice some male dancers may face, to the need to live in the moment, never ever to take anything for granted. Her wisdom, her grasp of how important it is to live life; reached out & touched our hearts. I hope & pray with all my heart she can get well again soon & return to her dance!

Peace be with you
Love
Debbie