When it came to guiding you had to be careful to respect the other person’s needs & wishes. When I walked through the corridors, up & down stairs, unable to see, the trust you had to share with the other person was humbling. Ordinary places became so different. When it came to stepping out into the big wide world my senses went into overload. With all the sounds, the different feel to everything, with your touch, even through your feet. How you interact with people you cannot see & how they perceive you. How you cope with everyday things that seemed so potentially hazardous, bought tears to my eyes. We were given a talk by the lady who helps patients come to terms with their sight loss. How a person copes with being told they are going to lose there sight, for me the most precious of gifts I cannot begin to imagine.
Since my last post I have got the full use of my legs back. The B12 injections have helped a lot. I helped at the most wonderful Christmas party in one of the children’s ward. I witnessed the brilliant dance performance of the young girl I mentioned in my previous blog post, who had been so ill. I was privileged to hear the violin playing of a little lad who has had to spend far too many years of his young life in hospital. These youngsters deserve a far greater audience as they really have got talent. I also got to meet the young players of the football team my Dad encouraged me to support in a different life, when they visited the childrens wards & bought a smile to many faces.
I have managed to keep hold of my job so far this year. Accepting that I may always be susceptible to bouts of anxiety & depression is something I have come to terms with. Only now do I appreciate the longer I spent in denial, the longer & more lasting the effect on my long term health. No one can tell you what it feels like to need to go through life changing changes. Life is not always high contrast, sometimes its not always easy to see things clearly. Sometimes its about taking one day at a time. Appreciating what you have, rather than what you don't, something I have sometimes been guilty of. Ironically I do not like changes but even if I could go back, I have no regrets. My parent’s health has at times not been good but we still have each other & a lot to be grateful for. I have lost a few wonderful friends but made many knew ones. My new life has heralded many sensory joys, everyday brings a new challenge.