Friday, 23 January 2009

Totally devasted

I have just received the nightmare news I have been dreading. The Primary Care Trust Commissioning meeting decided they are not prepared to fund my gender reassignment procedure.

Right now I feel like my heart has been riped out.
My depression is back with a vengance & I cannot stop crying but please do not worry I am not suicidal, just completely heartbroken.


Jess said...

Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear that.

I can only just begin to understand the pain and upset, the kick in the teeth from those mean to be caring for you.

'phones on if you need a chat.

Debbie K said...

I may not be around for a while. I have kind of been expecting this to happen. When I can summon the energy I willl fight their decission not to allow me to go to Mr Thomas in Brighton. I need to try to formulate a plan of action.
Their reason seems to be that the trust has an agrement with the West London Mental Health Trust Gender Dysphoria Service.

I have spoken with my counsellor & she is going to be in contact with me every day. I have also spoken to the duty doctor at my local mental health unit but there is little he can say or do. I need an urgent appointment to see the consultant physchiatrist who referred me. My depression is back with a vengeance but I will not get suicidal. When I can stop crying I will go back to my family.


Anji said...

I'm so sorry Debbie. Is there a way round this?

alan said...

Borrowing from Jess above, sometimes I'd like to return that kick to the beancounters...

I'm glad to read that there is a way to fight them; surely somewhere along the way some compassion must kick in!

Thank you for saying you have the strength to withstand this; yet again you show me what true strength is about!

Thinking of you my friend...


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Debbie I know how you had your hopes set of this.

Josephine said...

Debbie darling. Call me. The mobile no is best as BT are about to screw up my phone line.

All is not lost honey. Believe it. This is a tough moment for you my friend...very very tough, but it's not uncommon for PCTs to try this. They have been beaten in court elsewhere in the country on this issue (Calderdale I think), and precedents set. This is a going in position they they are opening up with, and you can fight it my friend. With therapists, psychiatrist, GP, any one else you are seeing behind can roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.

Get onto the Angels/Roses/Nuyttycats sites and start getting advice...when you feel able. Regather. It's not over yet honey...really it's hardly started, and you can gather your forces once more.

I am sending you a HUGE hug!!!

Karen said...

Debbie, I'm sorry to hear this, but from what I can make out and going by Jo's comment this is round one of a tough fight.
Build up your strength and take Jo's advice.
You've given me good advice in the past, I wish I could do the same. All I can say is fight till you get what you need. There are people who will stand with you, some you probably don't even know yet.