I will survive, I will get there but right now I have gone from; singing with joy at my new life, to screaming out in pain, on a river of tears, trying desperately to keep my heavy heart from being pulled under for ever. Please God save me & my dear Mum & Dad from this cruelty. I have managed to bounce back & I will try to again. I need to stay strong for my parents. All may not be lost but after the events detailed below I am not sure where it will all end.
I was absolutely stunned to be informed by her that I only had 28 days from the date she informed him of the rejection to appeal. With him on annual leave for 10 days & then his secretary on leave when he comes back the prospect of sorting out this nightmare grows ever more unlikely. The appeal has to be made by the consultant psychiatrist in 28 days. I was told if that fails I would have to register a formal complaint with the complaints manager to take the matter further if I wished. After today I am not even going to wait to log my complaint at the PCT's action.
As I have so little time to prepare more evidence it is very likely to fail again. The news that she was prepared to put a note on my file explaining the absence of my consultant on annual leave was of no comfort. To add salt to my gaping wounds she had the temerity to inform me I should have been told about the agreement the PCT had with West London Mental Health Trust Gender Dysphoria Unit to always send their patients to Charring Cross Gender Dysphoria Service, from the start of my treatment. As my treatment started in 1996 & was originally funded by the NHS her comment was ridiculous. Why this woman had the cruel audacity to ask my consultant just before Christmas why I did not want to go to Charring Cross knowing full well they had this agreement in place was sickening. Neither my consultant nor my own doctor has ever told me about this agreement. My consultant had been asking for clarification of how to proceed with a transsexual patient like myself via the NHS for over a year but to my knowledge was never told of this agreement. NEVER! I had continued to see my Gender Specialist Consultant Dr R. Curtis & attended consultations with the NHS surgeons who specialise in GRS Mr Bellringer & Mr Thomas privately to establish my preference as per what I had been led to believe was patient choice. Suddenly this woman acts as though I should have always known about this agreement with Charring Cross. I was a bit more than Charring ####ing Cross!
I had been led along a path of false hope all along. All I can do is hope for a cancellation to see my consultant on Tuesday morning & have arranged to leave a note for him to urgently appeal their awful decision. I was contacted later the same day by my consultants lovely secretary who has advised me to log a formal complaint against the City Primary Trust with PALS the patient & Liaison Support. They have cut back all funding at her hospital & she was appalled at my treatment. I have an appointment with my GP on Monday. The mental cruelty the Primary Care Trust has put both me & my dear parents through, not to mention their apparent lack of communicating their supposed procedures/agreements to senior medical staff i.e. my consultant psychiatrist & possibly also my GP is unforgivable.
I have been advised by my counsellor to contact my solicitors over this matter & will in due course be informing them of the situation.
After so much excellent medical care to enable me to improve my health it is both negligent & tragic that a Primary Care Trust can treat a patient whose mental health has been stable for over a year so unfairly, causing great harm & distress, showing anything but primary care. Worst of all it is causing my elderly parents great stress as they worry about their daughters diminishing health.
I hope PCT do not go on a witch hunt after the kind medical staff who have supported me. There is a risk they may be put under pressure to say they knew of this agreement & had actually told me. If I do not get this right I could be left without any care at all. I hoped to sort this out amicably but what choice have they given me?