Sunday, 18 May 2008

Getting on with life

A week can be a long time. Today my world just seems a far happier place. Some of my dear friends from Angels have been making monumental progress with their lives recently. I am so thrilled for them. Our lives are so different yet there is a familiar theme that bonds us. When Dr Curtis wisely suggested I needed to find some friends who were on a similar journey, I was unsure if that would ever happen. At the time I felt so alone & isolated. I have since made some wonderful friends with whom I share great empathy. Their kind support & inspiration have added something unique to all the other kind family, friends & medical people who have helped me.

I have already mentioned I have great empathy for others struggling on this journey. I often shed or unloaded my experiences on others. & really should not have sent some of those emotive postings. They were often only really of relevance to me. I guess I was desperately looking for help, for answers. I am starting to ramble even writing this. I am so grateful for the support they have given me.

I find great therapy in waffling down notes about feelings. I find it very therapeutic. Jo Harris bless her, phoned me a few weeks back & suggested I should start up a blog of my own. I lack the eloquence & intellect of so many of those who kindly share their lives on line. Ironically as my life like has moved on so much in the last year & I have less & less time to write I have started a blog myself.

One of those lovely friends, Jessica recently wrote an article on gender dysphoria which suggested that there are three ways of living with gender variance:

- to resent it, "Woe is me I'm TS"
- to revel in it, "Look at me I'm TS"
- to live through it, "I'm TS - but it doesn't define me - I just want to get on with life."

Labels who needs them but those categories she mentioned seem pretty good to me. I would have always thought of her as the third option. I can tell you know because it no longer applies but I was very envious of her. Perhaps not envy, that's an ugly word. I admired the way she juggled her hectic life & found a balance between her GD & her loved ones. She appeared totally at ease with who she is.

I am ashamed to admit I had been one of those woe is me TS. I would not wish this on my worst enemies. GD has caused me & my family too much pain. I would never want to revel in my TS. I am thrilled to say I am now just getting on with my life.


1 comment:

Debbie K said...

I'm still trying to just get on with life but GD can still cast its shadow without warning.